Idol 10: 5. Austin

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The show started with a sincere apology for Steven’s outrageous behaviour, and an assurance that it wouldn’t happen again. That lasted almost two seconds.

Ah well, we can applaud the producers’ effort (for not taking the show too seriously), but, luckily for us, it seems The Demon of Screamin’ cannot be tamed.

From there it was to Ryan, who was still on the phone to his dad.

The first contestant brought the sister he’d not met until he was 14 for moral support and to act as fourth judge, and showed off his “JLo booty” when he got a ticket to Hollywood. I’m sure Jennifer was … delighted … at the flattering comparison.

Next up was a girl originally from Liverpool who turned on the waterworks when the judges said her audition was all over the place. She got through on a better second attempt, but it still wasn’t a great representation for the World Capital City of Pop. She was followed by a montage of bad singers, including a green-haired guy, whose Circle of Life was the Kiss of Death for his chances, and a heterosexual cowboy. Oh really?

From bad singing to a couple who’d decided their little bundle of joy was going to be rough and tough the day they named him. Ryan joked, “would have really sucked if I were your son,” but cowboy senior fired right back with, “no, you wouldn’t be the way you are now!” Well, thank any deity of your choosing that Ryan grew up where he did … I bet there’d have been no My Little Pony Castle for Ryan to play with in THAT house!

Despite his dad’s best efforts, the cowboy clearly has a secret liking for shiny, pretty things as he picked up Ryan and twirled him around after he got his golden ticket. Ryan then twirled cowboy senior around … my reaction to this show of masculinity wasn’t so much “look at Ryan, he’s so big and strong!” as “oh heck, he’s going to put his hip out!”

Turns out it wasn’t his hip we needed to worry about, but where he was putting his hands!

Ryan’s masculinity wasn’t in question with the next contestant as she thinks Ryan is the sexiest man alive — and she’s going to marry him some day. It’s a shame she’s not a better singer, because we could get behind someone who loves Ryan that much! She did okay, bonded with Steven over a chicken impression, and made it to Hollywood … where she’ll hopefully stalk Ryan some more. Great choice of soundtrack to their love story.

A series of successful contestants was followed to Hollywood by the new (self-proclaimed) American Idol power couple and a singer who thinks people have the wrong idea about country people. This was followed by a 7ft Armadillo and other crazies who didn’t make it through.

Time was running out so it was time for the final sob story … which didn’t come! Idol broke with expectation and just gave us a great singer who looks like the love child of Seth Rogen and Fraggle Rock. He took the last golden ticket from Austin, though really he should have been given a pass right through to the top 40. He’s that good.

50 people made it through to Hollywood and auditions continue tomorrow in Los Angeles.

Contestants

Jake Muck
Corey Levoy — Hollywood
Hollie Cavanagh — Hollywood
Rodolfo Ochoa
John Wayne Schulz — Hollywood
Courtney Penry — Hollywood
Shauntel Campos — Hollywood
Alex Carr — Hollywood
Caleb Johnson — Hollywood
Jacqueline Dunford — Hollywood
Nick Fink — Hollywood
Janelle Arthur — Hollywood
A 7ft Armadillo
Casey Abrams — Hollywood

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