American Idol Season 9 Dallas

At the start of the show, Ryan was on top of the world .. or it looked that way as he introduced us to Dallas from the top of a very tall building. Ryan’s day got off to a great start as he found himself surrounded by cheerleaders. Looking like the cat that got the cream, Ryan announced it was his favourite ever day at work!

The guest judge on the first day in Dallas was Neil Patrick Harris. Neil said at the start of the show that his goal was to shatter the dreams of thousands. Promising as that sounds, that wasn’t what caught my attention …

Snarky judge poking around in Ryan’s closet? Could be the perfect replacement for Simon!

Julie Kevelighan

Julie wanted to know if Ryan remembered her. Silly question … of course he did! She had a sign saying “this is my year” with her name underneath, only she hadn’t quite planned ahead and her writing got smaller towards the end as she tried to squish everything in. After the judges stopped her singing, Neil called her out on the dodgy signage as well as her vocals. Simon said everything was wrong … pointed out she’d missed out the word ‘not’ … and told her she was making it worse when she started singing again. Why do people do that! Do they genuinely believe they can mysteriously improve in the time it takes the judges to tell them they suck? As Julie left the room, Ryan put down the pink pillow he was hugging … would it be wrong to be jealous of a pillow? … and asked how it went. Julie offered to sing for him, but Ryan told her quickly that wouldn’t help!

Ryan said it was 11am in Texas and he’d received his delivery of ladies from Dallas. Considering the bunch of cheerleaders he had at his disposal earlier, you’d think he’d have made it past 11am without needing new ones! Oh, hang on, maybe he said Dallas had delivered for the ladies. Oops. Moving on … the next guy brought with him the promise of Texas-sized talent, if “Texas-sized” is another way of saying “OMFG he is three times the size of Ryan!”

Lloyd Thomas

Lloyd has a great voice and Simon told him it was his favourite audition of the day. All four judges put him through, and the scene cut to Neil and Simon disagreeing.

Kimberly Carver

Kimberly sang an original song. Her voice is okay but I hated the song. Simon didn’t find her relevant but the other judges liked her and put her through. Kimberly said “thank god for Neil Patrick Harris!” and Simon quipped “Welcome to Jazz TV” as she left!

Dexter Ward

Dexter impressed me because it must be difficult to be that far out of tune. Simon complimented his smile, but Ryan said Dexter’s smile barely made it outside the judging room and we saw him in tears … followed by lots more emotional contestants whose dreams had ended early.

Ryan’s said on the voiceover that Simon needed a cigarette the judges were in need of a sigh of relief, so while the others were on a break, Ryan got an update from Neil. Ryan asked him about the talent and whether he finds it tough to be honest. Neil didn’t seem to have a problem with honesty!

Erica Rhodes

While Ryan was talking to Erica, I was admiring his biceps and triceps … looks like he’d been working out! Erica told Ryan she had been on Barney and Friends and after shaking hands, Ryan asked if her gloves were part of her outfit. They were, and when she walked into the judging room, she looked like a dominatrix, complete with whip. She sang her song, and the Barney theme. I really like her! Simon’s jaw visibly dropped and he told Erica she’d made an impression. He asked her what was the big dream, before saying that he knew what his is! Erica said she wants people to know that Barney kids grow up … Neil said “to be dirty little girls!” The judges all put them through and Ryan showed off his muscles again.

Dave Pittman

The last contestant of the day has Tourette’s syndrome, but it doesn’t affect him when he’s singing. I’ve heard worse, but wasn’t blown away. Neil asked about “the elephant in the room” and called him crazy brave, and all the judges put him through. Ryan talked about the other contestants who made it through and we saw the dangerous side of Ryan’s job as he had to leap out of the way of over-excited people bouncing around waving golden tickets.

It was the end of day one, and the end of Neil Patrick Harris’ stint as a judge. He must be the best guest judge ever! It’s yet to be seen how good a judge of talent he is, but he was definitely entertaining. The guest judge on day two was Joe Jonas, which probably boosted the show’s teen viewers! Ryan said it was cold in the judging room as Simon put a sweater on, but anyone who remembers the twitpic of Ryan’s pretty ankles knows it was warm in Dallas so the air-con must have been set to arctic.

Todrick Hall

Todrick has a great voice but I’d have preferred to hear him sing something else. Simon wasn’t jumping out of his chair, but he almost clapped when Todrick complained about the lack of reaction, and he did say yes. Randy and Kara were more enthusiastic.

As Todrick did a flip outside the judges’ room, Ryan introduced another group of singers who made it through, including Dawntoya Thomason and Stephanie Daulong, while Joe Jonas showed us he could say “yeah”. Either he’s really dull, or anything interesting he said is lying on the cutting room floor.

Meagan Wright

Meagan seemed a little hyper talking to Ryan but her voice has a gentle warm tone. Kara thought she was going to be a joke but said she has a beautiful voice. Ryan poked his head behind the curtains as Meagan came out from seeing the judges, then went into the room as she came out empty handed with a sad face … until Ryan brought Meagan’s golden ticket out for her family to see. As they screamed and mobbed Meagan, Ryan backed slowly away … but the mob moved in his direction. Ryan’s job looks scary at times!

We know that Ryan accumulates jobs, but it started to get a little ridiculous in Dallas. As well as talking to the contestants and trying to avoid being crushed, lifted up or even picked up by over-excited contestants and families, Ryan had to film the contestants, take part in an acrobatic display, push a trolley, and check up on his cheerleaders. How did he find time to do his radio show and E! news too!

Vanessa Johnston

Vanessa was vibrant but her singing was awful! The judges were all laughing, and Simon told her it was the stuff of nightmares. Vanessa offered the judges another song, but Kara said one was enough. Ryan wanted to know why Vanessa’s friends seemed so happy as she told them that she was Simon’s worst nightmare … then two of them hoisted Ryan up into the air. Ryan said it was the strangest thing that’s ever happened to him … but he was game for a little more!

In comparison to Ryan’s dangerous job, Simon’s is a piece of cake, but Ryan decided to rally a bit of sympathy for his old friend and explain why he’s so mean. We saw clips of people who couldn’t sing a note, the thousands and thousands of contestants Simon has to watch audition (most of whom don’t get anywhere near Simon and the other celebrity judges, but we can overlook that bit of TV sleight of hand), and Simon listening to countless sob stories and watching people attempt to dance, beg or otherwise be annoying. Well okay, maybe Simon’s job is tough … and the photos of him having to deal with the luxury cars, pools, private jets, beautiful women, and piles of money no doubt touched the hearts of millions. Oh Ryan. Who are you trying to kid!

Christian Spear

I didn’t like Christian at all, but the judges loved her and she sailed through taking the last of 31 golden tickets from Dallas.

I thought this was a great show (i.e. plenty of Ryan), but the talent we saw wasn’t as good as previous cities. My favourite was Erica Rhodes and I’d like to hear Todrick Hall sing something else. I thought Neil Patrick Harris was awesome and would make an entertaining permanent judge, but I actually forgot Joe Jonas was there during the second part, so was decidedly underwhelmed by him.