January 2010 archive

At the start of the show, Ryan was on top of the world .. or it looked that way as he introduced us to Dallas from the top of a very tall building. Ryan’s day got off to a great start as he found himself surrounded by cheerleaders. Looking like the cat that got the cream, Ryan announced it was his favourite ever day at work!

The guest judge on the first day in Dallas was Neil Patrick Harris. Neil said at the start of the show that his goal was to shatter the dreams of thousands. Promising as that sounds, that wasn’t what caught my attention …

Snarky judge poking around in Ryan’s closet? Could be the perfect replacement for Simon!

Julie Kevelighan

Julie wanted to know if Ryan remembered her. Silly question … of course he did! She had a sign saying “this is my year” with her name underneath, only she hadn’t quite planned ahead and her writing got smaller towards the end as she tried to squish everything in. After the judges stopped her singing, Neil called her out on the dodgy signage as well as her vocals. Simon said everything was wrong … pointed out she’d missed out the word ‘not’ … and told her she was making it worse when she started singing again. Why do people do that! Do they genuinely believe they can mysteriously improve in the time it takes the judges to tell them they suck? As Julie left the room, Ryan put down the pink pillow he was hugging … would it be wrong to be jealous of a pillow? … and asked how it went. Julie offered to sing for him, but Ryan told her quickly that wouldn’t help!

Ryan said it was 11am in Texas and he’d received his delivery of ladies from Dallas. Considering the bunch of cheerleaders he had at his disposal earlier, you’d think he’d have made it past 11am without needing new ones! Oh, hang on, maybe he said Dallas had delivered for the ladies. Oops. Moving on … the next guy brought with him the promise of Texas-sized talent, if “Texas-sized” is another way of saying “OMFG he is three times the size of Ryan!”

Lloyd Thomas

Lloyd has a great voice and Simon told him it was his favourite audition of the day. All four judges put him through, and the scene cut to Neil and Simon disagreeing.

Kimberly Carver

Kimberly sang an original song. Her voice is okay but I hated the song. Simon didn’t find her relevant but the other judges liked her and put her through. Kimberly said “thank god for Neil Patrick Harris!” and Simon quipped “Welcome to Jazz TV” as she left!

Dexter Ward

Dexter impressed me because it must be difficult to be that far out of tune. Simon complimented his smile, but Ryan said Dexter’s smile barely made it outside the judging room and we saw him in tears … followed by lots more emotional contestants whose dreams had ended early.

Ryan’s said on the voiceover that Simon needed a cigarette the judges were in need of a sigh of relief, so while the others were on a break, Ryan got an update from Neil. Ryan asked him about the talent and whether he finds it tough to be honest. Neil didn’t seem to have a problem with honesty!

Erica Rhodes

While Ryan was talking to Erica, I was admiring his biceps and triceps … looks like he’d been working out! Erica told Ryan she had been on Barney and Friends and after shaking hands, Ryan asked if her gloves were part of her outfit. They were, and when she walked into the judging room, she looked like a dominatrix, complete with whip. She sang her song, and the Barney theme. I really like her! Simon’s jaw visibly dropped and he told Erica she’d made an impression. He asked her what was the big dream, before saying that he knew what his is! Erica said she wants people to know that Barney kids grow up … Neil said “to be dirty little girls!” The judges all put them through and Ryan showed off his muscles again.

Dave Pittman

The last contestant of the day has Tourette’s syndrome, but it doesn’t affect him when he’s singing. I’ve heard worse, but wasn’t blown away. Neil asked about “the elephant in the room” and called him crazy brave, and all the judges put him through. Ryan talked about the other contestants who made it through and we saw the dangerous side of Ryan’s job as he had to leap out of the way of over-excited people bouncing around waving golden tickets.

It was the end of day one, and the end of Neil Patrick Harris’ stint as a judge. He must be the best guest judge ever! It’s yet to be seen how good a judge of talent he is, but he was definitely entertaining. The guest judge on day two was Joe Jonas, which probably boosted the show’s teen viewers! Ryan said it was cold in the judging room as Simon put a sweater on, but anyone who remembers the twitpic of Ryan’s pretty ankles knows it was warm in Dallas so the air-con must have been set to arctic.

Todrick Hall

Todrick has a great voice but I’d have preferred to hear him sing something else. Simon wasn’t jumping out of his chair, but he almost clapped when Todrick complained about the lack of reaction, and he did say yes. Randy and Kara were more enthusiastic.

As Todrick did a flip outside the judges’ room, Ryan introduced another group of singers who made it through, including Dawntoya Thomason and Stephanie Daulong, while Joe Jonas showed us he could say “yeah”. Either he’s really dull, or anything interesting he said is lying on the cutting room floor.

Meagan Wright

Meagan seemed a little hyper talking to Ryan but her voice has a gentle warm tone. Kara thought she was going to be a joke but said she has a beautiful voice. Ryan poked his head behind the curtains as Meagan came out from seeing the judges, then went into the room as she came out empty handed with a sad face … until Ryan brought Meagan’s golden ticket out for her family to see. As they screamed and mobbed Meagan, Ryan backed slowly away … but the mob moved in his direction. Ryan’s job looks scary at times!

We know that Ryan accumulates jobs, but it started to get a little ridiculous in Dallas. As well as talking to the contestants and trying to avoid being crushed, lifted up or even picked up by over-excited contestants and families, Ryan had to film the contestants, take part in an acrobatic display, push a trolley, and check up on his cheerleaders. How did he find time to do his radio show and E! news too!

Vanessa Johnston

Vanessa was vibrant but her singing was awful! The judges were all laughing, and Simon told her it was the stuff of nightmares. Vanessa offered the judges another song, but Kara said one was enough. Ryan wanted to know why Vanessa’s friends seemed so happy as she told them that she was Simon’s worst nightmare … then two of them hoisted Ryan up into the air. Ryan said it was the strangest thing that’s ever happened to him … but he was game for a little more!

In comparison to Ryan’s dangerous job, Simon’s is a piece of cake, but Ryan decided to rally a bit of sympathy for his old friend and explain why he’s so mean. We saw clips of people who couldn’t sing a note, the thousands and thousands of contestants Simon has to watch audition (most of whom don’t get anywhere near Simon and the other celebrity judges, but we can overlook that bit of TV sleight of hand), and Simon listening to countless sob stories and watching people attempt to dance, beg or otherwise be annoying. Well okay, maybe Simon’s job is tough … and the photos of him having to deal with the luxury cars, pools, private jets, beautiful women, and piles of money no doubt touched the hearts of millions. Oh Ryan. Who are you trying to kid!

Christian Spear

I didn’t like Christian at all, but the judges loved her and she sailed through taking the last of 31 golden tickets from Dallas.

I thought this was a great show (i.e. plenty of Ryan), but the talent we saw wasn’t as good as previous cities. My favourite was Erica Rhodes and I’d like to hear Todrick Hall sing something else. I thought Neil Patrick Harris was awesome and would make an entertaining permanent judge, but I actually forgot Joe Jonas was there during the second part, so was decidedly underwhelmed by him.

The opening shots showed Ryan doing the intro in his radio studio looking smart in a shirt and tie, instead of the teeshirts and cute sweaters we usually see him wearing on shots from the radio show. Ryan bigged up LA as the epicentre of entertainment, home to almost every star under the sun and the show itself … as well as 11,000 hopefuls who’d turned up to the first round audition.

Simon decided to share one of his favourite fantasies with the world under the guise of rewriting Ryan’s script: “Simon is extraordinarily good looking in real life. He lights up the audition room and I think I’m falling in love with him.” We won’t judge Simon. After all, who wouldn’t want Ryan to fall in love with them!

The first guest judge in Los Angeles was Avril Lavigne, and she arrived looking adorable in a horny hoodie from her own collection and commented on how intimidating it was for the contestants.

Neil Goldstein

Neil started singing “remember everything that I told you” then promptly forgot the rest of his words. Simon loved the irony and grinned through Neil’s misfortune. Despite getting a reality check from Simon, Neil insisted he was going to Hollywood. Outside, Neil’s parents told Ryan that he does well under pressure while inside Neil was sweating profusely and clinging desperately to his hopes before finally being invited by Simon to choose whether he wanted to leave on his own or with an escort. On his way out, Neil told Simon not to hit anyone else with the door, while Ryan said it wasn’t Neil’s time to shine…

Jim Ranger

Ryan told us that the sun was shining in LA but there were no golden tickets, before introducing the next contestant who hoped to turn things around … with his own song. Ryan pointed out to Jim’s family that it’s hard to impress the judges with an original song. Simon liked him, Avril said no and Kara didn’t seem sure. Outside Ryan commented on how quiet the kids were … and they didn’t appear to move after Jim ran out of the room waving his ticket to Hollywood.

Ryan busted Simon for getting friendly with the guest judge … Simon likes a little devil and Avril was literally wearing horns. The scriptwriters were apparently unwilling to miss the chance to play with that theme as Ryan told us on the voiceover that Avril was an omen because for the next hour the talent went straight to ‘you know where’, as we watched hellish auditions from Jayson Wilson, Jesse Chang and Martin Perez.

Damian Lefavor

Sandwich maker Damian appeared a sandwich or two short of a picnic in his audition and seemed to give himself strange whistling time-outs. Simon apparently thought so too as he told him “you should just go” after Damian choked on his pepperoni sandwich song.

Back in Ryan’s domain, we saw a montage of small but vocal visitors to the holding area. One kid told Ryan she’ll be on the show when she’s 16; Ryan told her he’ll be really old when she’s 16! This is true. He’ll still be hot though.

Mary Powers

Mary’s 8-year old daughter loves Simon because “he’s the only negativity one”, which seemed to amuse Ryan. Mary is a decent singer but it felt as though she was trying too hard. The judges put her through and Avril particularly liked her punk rock tone. Ryan asked Mary’s daughter if she wanted to meet Simon and took her into the room. The little girl gazed adoringly at Simon as Ryan told Simon she liked him because he’s mean. Simon was pretty cute with the kid (he seems to like other people’s kids) and she looked stoked as she skipped back out of the room.

Ryan introduced a montage of Adam Lambert wannabes influenced singers, though I think inflicting the idea of an Adam Lambert/Susan Boyle lovechild was a step too far. While Adam fans were trying to erase that disturbing image from their minds, Ryan introduced a contestant who said he’d received positive comments on his demo from Adam.

AJ Mendoza

AJ didn’t sing well in his audition. Simon compared it to the result of a visit to the dentist and too much anaesthetic and Kara said that AJ didn’t open his mouth. AJ told everyone outside the room that “they hated it” and Ryan wanted to know if he was surprised by that.

On day two the guest judge was Katy Perry, who set the tone for her input saying it was ridiculous that the judges were arriving by helicopter. Ryan agreed, but we all know that’s because Simon got his way with The A-Team theme music when Ryan had voted for the CHiPs theme so he could borrow Erik Estrada’s uniform again and make siren noises as the judges were escorted in by road. The helicopter was soon forgotten as Ryan dangled golden tickets in front of the judges. Very nice. We don’t see nearly enough of him from that angle.

Austin Fullmer

Austin looked like he’d raided Gary Numan’s wardrobe and had obviously been watching videos of Mick Jagger, but he was pretty tuneless. Simon asked if he couldn’t just be happy at the day job … Austin said singing is his purpose in life, but Simon assured him it wasn’t. Austin’s friend thought Katy might call him. Ryan said “she has your number, stay close to the phone”. Katy has his number, that’s for sure.

Austin was followed by another bunch of rejects and one crying girl was comforted by Ryan, which surely had to be better than getting a ticket to Hollywood.

Andrew Garcia

Simon thought Andrew was a genuinely genuinely good good singer. Kara really really liked him. Randy thought he had mad vocals and he gave Katy Perry chills. Ticket to Hollywood.

Ryan told us it was no 4pm in SoCal and the ladies hadn’t had any luck. Cue lucky lady here to “redeem LA”.

Tasha Layton

She has a nice voice and she’s pretty too. Good combination! Simon said people may like her but predicted an “oh happy day” medley if she makes the top 12. All four said yes and Tasha followed her golden ticket out of the door, greeted her family, then turned and exclaimed “Ryan!” and gave him a hug.

Jason Greene

Creepy Jason believes in magic but he didn’t manage to bewitch the judges with his singing … or his moves, which appeared to be making Simon a little uncomfortable — Randy told Jason to stop hitting on his friend! All judges said no and Katy told him she felt dirty … as Jason flounced out, Simon told him Ryan would be waiting. He looked at Ryan as if he were a particularly tasty candy then gave him a card with his number and invited Ryan to call him any time. Ryan was having even less of it than Simon, telling Jason that he may believe what he reads but he should be giving his number to a huge guy [we know from Ryan’s tweet this is his security guy Aaron] who then came into shot nodding in agreement with a slightly menacing look towards Jason. Genius.

A gleeful Ryan then pointed out that Kara and Katy had been catty with each other all day as we watched a mini bitch fest. It wasn’t that bitchy really; I’m certain Ryan and Simon could go at it far better given enough screen time … which is one of the reasons why Ryan should be one of the judges on Simon’s X Factor USA!

Chris Golightly

Ryan seemed moved by Chris’ back story and he was Kara’s favourite as she thought they might look back on the audition and go ‘wow’ because of the combination of his voice and story. To Simon’s amusement (and mine), Katy pointed out that it’s not a lifetime movie, which left Kara feeling that Simon and Katy were ganging up on her. They were. Chris got a ticket to Hollywood and Ryan told him he should be really proud.

There was another montage of successful contestants, with Ryan leading the cheerleading, ahead of a fab shot of Ryan pointing to camera saying “That’s LA!” with a full on Hollywood smile.

My favourite contestants from Los Angeles were Tasha Layton and Andrew Garcia, but I think Mary Powers would be good too if she toned it down a little.

Photos: RyanSeacrest, PattyRodriguez, NegativeNatalie

One topic that had everyone talking today was Ryan’s interview with Adam Lambert — it even made the trending topics on Twitter!

Ryan asked Adam about the aftermath of the AMAs, in particular whether he had any regrets or had made any apologies, and said that he had still wanted Adam to appear on New Year’s Rockin’ Eve but it ultimately wasn’t down to him. Adam told Ryan he hadn’t made any apologies, laughing that it might have gone down differently if he had, and said the only thing he would have done differently was to sing it better. Adam added that he hadn’t expected his performance to upset viewers or the network and he called off the rabid glamberts told his fans it wasn’t Ryan’s fault about New Year’s! I have a foot in both fandoms when it comes to Ryan and Adam, so I blame the network mary whitehouse the internet global warming.

Ryan played Adam’s current single Whataya Want From Me from the album For Your Entertainment.

video via: AllBritneyTV

Ryan asked one of the questions Adam’s fans really want an answer to: what are his plans for the future. Adam is trying to get the music out internationally and hopefully putting a tour together. He also told Ryan he’s going to be on the red carpet at the Grammys, but wouldn’t reveal who he’s working for as it’s not announced yet. Adam said his outfit is going to top Ryan’s, but Ryan thinks he has enough issues without trying to compete with Adam. That’s a shame … Ryan could definitely pull off one of Adam’s outfits, and I’d be happy to watch him do it. Double entendre intended, triple entendre an accidental bonus ;)

Ryan looked super cute at the top of the show as he said “this is Orlando and this is American Idol”, standing in front of 10,000 contestants. Ryan did a cheesy Disney ‘dreams come true’ voiceover before saying that he, Simon and Randy were 235 miles away in Miami … and needing a little TLC after their quiet night in. Or something like that. While the boys were recovering, Kara and guest judge Kristin Chenoweth were becoming BFFs.

Theo Glinton

Glittery Theo had dressed up for the occasion with what looked like a cape and was covered in glitter and sequins. Ryan asked if he’d ever thought of being a super-hero … maybe not, but confident Theo knew he was beautiful and all that anyone could be. In the audition, Theo belted out his song but the judges rejected him for being too over-the-top. After struggling to negotiate the exit, a subdued Theo told his friends, who were waiting outside with Ryan, that he hadn’t made it. Ryan looked as though he’d dealt with a few sequins before as he helped Theo remove the glitz from his face, then cut to a break saying that he needed to go wash the glitter off his hands.

Still on the Disney theme, Ryan’s voiceover talked about the morning being far from a fairy tale as the contestants were beginning to grate on Simon and the girls continued to bond, which … to Ryan’s delight … annoyed the <beep> out of Simon.

Seth Rollins

Next up is Seth and his back-story involves his kid, who was at the audition and wanted to follow him into the judging room. It looked as though Ryan was going to get the kid until mom stepped in. Seth’s singing sounds effortless and all judges sent him through, though Randy wanted more energy and Simon wanted excitement and animation.

Ryan said that millions of people flock to Orlando to reach for the stars, and said the contestants were aiming just as high … and high is one word to describe the contestant standing next to Ryan in the VT. I thought this was American Idol, not America’s Next Basketball Player.

Jermaine Purifoy

Jermaine auditioned in season seven but didn’t make it through. Randy told him not to be scared, and he had no reason to be as he has a beautiful voice. He’s also the prettiest contestant we’ve seen so far! The judges liked him. Kara found it believable and Simon thought it was a good choice of song and the chicks would like him.

At 7pm Ryan crossed an empty holding room to talk to the last contestant of the day.

Shelby Dressell

Shelby told Ryan about a nerve problem she’d been born with that had made it difficult to use one side of her face and Ryan told her she appeared to function fine. It didn’t seem to affect her singing as she has a decent voice. Half way through the song she got flustered and swore, which really broke the ice in the audition room! The judges saw something in her and put her through, though Simon’s ‘yes’ was with a small ‘y’. Ryan said 18 others went through on day one and we saw a clip of various contestants and him with an armful of Shelby.

The BFFs were no more on day two as Kristin had to head back to New York leaving Kara with Simon and Randy for company.

Jay Stone

Jay did a bit of beat-boxing that didn’t sell him as a singer, but had a decent voice when Randy asked him to sing (while Kara and Randy did the percussion for him). Simon had a bit of percussion of his own with a raspberry and a ‘no’ but Kara put Jay through and Ryan played charades with Jay’s friends, acting out the judges’ reactions, while Randy came to his decision. As Jay came out with his golden ticket, someone picked Ryan right up into the air! So cute… and haven’t we all wanted to do that to Ryan at some time or another? Though in that situation, I might be tempted to throw him over my shoulder and make a run for it. Finders keepers!

While I pondered how heavy Ryan is and how far I could run before security caught up with me, Janell Wheeler, Brittany Starr James, Kasi Bedford all went through.

Cornelius Edwards

Cornelius had learned some serious moves from his stripper friends, but split a little more than he intended when he did the splits. Simon had to say yes after the ‘sacrifice’ and Kara and Randy followed suit, Randy telling him to wear a towel out. Cornelius left the room brandishing his golden ticket, and, presumably to avoid being picked up like last time, Ryan grabbed the only person smaller than him … a little kid who gave the best WTF face I’ve seen in a long time as Ryan hauled him into the air.

Bernadette and Amanda Desimone

Did I imagine Ryan getting a kiss on the cheek from the sisters, because it didn’t happen in the UK cut. The judges were a little on the fence, but Kara and Randy said yes, so they are both through to the next round.

Jarrod Norrell

Jarrod had a really indistinct speaking voice and sounded like a drunk gargling razor blades when he sang. Kara thought he sounded like a lawnmower and Jarrod wasn’t happy at all about that. He started singing again and wouldn’t stop when the judges tried to get him to shut up or when security tried to escort him from the room. Ryan said security had no choice but to intervene as we saw him cuffed and taken outside … then Simon deadpanned ‘yes or no?’

Matthew Lawrence

Ryan talked about the different reasons contestants have for auditioning, telling us that the last contestant was there for redemption. Matthew wanted a little adventure when he was 15, so robbed a bank with a BB gun. I hated his singing. He reminded me of Michael Sarver, but the judges loved him and put him through with Kara calling him for the top 12.

At the end of the programme, Ryan said that a total of 31 contestants made it through, and next week we get to see the LA auditions. On his radio show today, Ryan said that Kara didn’t get on quite so well with Katy Perry so I can’t wait to see the claws come out.

I thought there were quite a few good contestants through in Orlando and liked Kasi Bedford, Seth Rollins and Jermaine Purifoy in particular.

Ryan introduced Chicago and the guest judge Shania Twain.

Katelyn Epperly

Katelyn was the first contestant we saw from the 12,000 who showed up to audition in Chicago. Shania heard something unique in her voice; Kara saw potential but would have liked something perkier and Simon thought it was as if the lights were off. Despite the criticism, she got a yes from all four judges and was through, with Ryan’s voice over saying day one is off to a good start. But was the good start continuing for Ryan?

Amy Lang

Amy has a little history with Ryan and was excited to meet him again. Ryan was a little shorter than she remembered him being in her dream … Ryan was the first celebrity Amy had an inappropriate dream about. Ryan wanted to know how the dream ended, and if her very enthusiastic “Good!” was any indication, it went well. Very well. Ryan was visibly touched (literally in the dream sequence) and mouthed “oh my god” to camera as Amy went into the room. She looked as though she could eat him alive! Bright personality and decent voice, but the judges didn’t like the audition or her ‘boob boxing’ (if she could flex ‘em individually, I might be more impressed by it!) Simon told Amy ‘they’ were not going through to Hollywood and a dejected Amy said her farewell to Ryan. Ryan pointed out in the voiceover that she didn’t get the support she wanted from the judges, but her family was there to give her a lift.

Ryan talked about day two as we watched a clip of hopefuls in the crowd and some seriously dodgy-looking family members.

Charity Vance

The next contestant seemed sweet and has a nice voice. I liked her. Randy found her voice interesting but small, Shania thought she needed to hone in on its better qualities and Simon saw something unique and thought she’d make a good recording artist. A chilled out Ryan said “let’s see what happened” before Charity bounced out with her ticket.

Ryan said all the ‘characters’ had started to come out and we saw a montage of people who definitely aren’t going any further, causing the judges’ patience to wear thin. He wondered if the next batch of contestants would cheer the judges up, but that’d be a ‘no’ as we watched another batch of unique singers. As Ryan said “that didn’t help” and the judges took a break as Ryan talked about the effects of the afternoon slump on the contestants, and with only four golden tickets given out, the earlier excitement had been replaced by tears and disappointment.

As Simon headed back from his break, he was intercepted by a contestant’s mom who was not impressed that he hadn’t put her girl through. Simon told the mom he was giving her daughter good advice, but she told him he was wrong and she used to like him but didn’t any more. You could see her smiling as a charmingly disarming Simon insisted she still liked him really.

Angela Martin

Angela’s back for a third shot at Idol after getting through to the final 50 last year. Ryan asked her about not being able to make it to one of the shows, but she had to show up in court for a traffic violation and missed out. The judges put her through again after Simon faked her out with a ‘no’ and the camera cut to Ryan asking how many times this would be before she came out and celebrated with her emotional friends and family. Ryan said they’d have him in tears, before telling us that 7 other contestants made it through on day one.

Curley Newbern

Curley sang in a silly high-pitched voice and the judges were trying not to laugh, but Simon and Randy failed. Simon didn’t know what it was and wondered if a lot of animals turned up outside the house when Curley sang at home. Curley disappeared while the judges were still making fun of him, so they didn’t get to tell him ‘no’.

Ryan said that wasn’t the start we expected. I don’t know about Ryan, but having watched a few seasons of Idol now that was pretty much what I expected! It didn’t look promising as Ryan told us the next contestant picked up right where Curley left off.

Alannah Halbert

Alannah needed a singing lesson from the judges, but still didn’t manage to hit the right notes. She told Ryan she didn’t know why they’d said no and didn’t seem to know what she was doing. Ryan mentioned Alannah not knowing what was in black and white, before becoming a silent picture star in a black and white movie with a very simple and somewhat repetitive plot: they go in, and they come out without a golden ticket. Ryan said the next contestant was hoping to add colour. I guess that’s one way of describing his performance.

Brian Krause

Ex-army man Brian sang Tiptoe Through the Tulips with a squeaky voice and a very weird expression. The judges thought it was a joke and Randy told him it was weird, but a mellow Brian just felt like relaxing in a warm bubble bath after getting rejected.

Still no golden tickets, which meant for Ryan that there was nobody jumping up and down and there were no tears of joy. That’s a good thing though, right? Tears are messy, and Ryan had a cute shirt on.

Harold Davis

Harold wanted to fight for glory but he’s an average singer at best. The judges told him ‘no’ and he left in tears. Ryan wanted tears … they’re not tears of joy, but it’s a start!

Voiceover!Ryan was still lamenting the lack of golden tickets as Chantelle Graczkowski kicked off another bunch of non-singers.

John Park

John’s a good looking boy with a pleasant voice and the judges liked him. Shania particularly liked his bottom end … and his lips, and all judges said yes. ‘Finally!’ said Ryan as John bounced out of the room waving his golden ticket and getting mobbed by his friends. Ryan wanted to know if he was surprised, then asked what he was doing to celebrate.

Golden tickets might be thin on the ground, but we were treated to yet another clip of Ryan in his cute checked shirt and as we came back from the break, Ryan was still stalking the holding room and scaring the remaining contestants into thinking that the judges weren’t in the mood for giving out tickets.

Paige Duchausse

Asthma attack survivor Paige divided the panel with Simon being a definite ‘no’, Kara seeing potential, Shania giving her another chance and the girls badgering Randy to send her through. Ryan was waiting outside with what looked like Paige’s entire extended family when she came out. Ryan told Paige he’d only seen one other golden ticket that day and wanted to know how she felt.

Justin Ray, Keith Semple and Marcus Jones were the last contestants we saw getting golden tickets, before we saw the best part of the entire show: Ryan dancing with one of the contestants. It was seriously dorky dancing, but it was totally adorable! Such a shame they didn’t show more of it.

13 contestants made it through to Hollywood, and again nobody really stood out to me. It may be that Adam Lambert has raised expectations to an impossible level and there won’t be an instant “that’s the one!” moment this year. From those we heard sing, I liked Charity Vance and John Park.

Ryan started out with an Atlanta pop quiz … which I think was just an excuse to show a cute picture of the hometown boy!

Ryan introduced the guest judge, Mary J Blige, and the dramatic elevator, which contestants take all the way up to the 27th floor … and all the way back down after they’ve met their doom.

Dewone Robinson

Dewone was singing his own composition from the bottom of his heart to the best of his ability. Simon stopped him twice with a WTF? expression on his face, once to ask what the song was, then a second time to get the name of the song. It’s all a little surreal as Dewone starts off singing too high, then switches low and the judges couldn’t help laughing. After he stopped, Simon asked, reasonably, if it was meant to be a duet. Ah. No. Apparently it’s just odd. Simon told him it’s the worst original song he’d heard, but despite Simon’s interruptions being to blame for his horrible singing, it was a no and he left singing “it’s over” in the elevator ride down as Ryan confirms that yes, it is.

Keia Johnson

Ryan says Keia’s bright and sunny smile could cheer up the judging room. Her shouty singing was as loud as her green leggings but Kara thought this Miss Congeniality’s personality came through. Simon liked her and thought she was cute but could imagine her getting a part in Oklahoma whereas Mary thought she’d made the song her own. Keia got four yeses and was very excited in the elevator down.

Miriam Lemnouni, Noel Reese and Tisha Holland (with the biggest earrings I’ve ever seen) all went through as Ryan said the judging room began to sizzle.

Jermaine Sellers

Jermaine is a church singer and Ryan said it was cool he gets paid to sing. Kara asked him what he was going to do … he was going to sing … so Simon made his ‘duh’ face, but looked happy enough when Jermaine started singing. It was good apart from the end where he seemed to throw every note he’d ever met into the mix. The judges loved him and Jermaine was stoked to get through.

Christy Marie Agronow

Christy told Ryan she’s a TV host and demonstrated a 411 hand gesture she uses for her TV show, which Ryan did too. She has a big personality but an awful voice. The delightfully unrestrained Mary J. Blige couldn’t hold in a laugh as Christy acted out her singing before sincerely telling the judges “I would really love to go to Hollywood!” Simon didn’t disappoint with his perfectly delivered “not on that audition; it was a horrible version of the song” and saying it was more 911 than 411. Ryan asked someone waiting outside what she thinks will happen, then the elevator kicks in and Christy came out ranting about how ridiculous it all was. Ryan delivered the best line: “the good news is Christy has plenty to talk about on her show.”

Ryan set up my favourite link of the day saying that it’s a Long elevator ride down from that 27th floor as he introduced the next batch of rejects. After we heard Mary steal one of Kara’s lines “singing is not for you sweetie”, Ryan said that if you don’t like the elevator, you can always take the stairs … or if you’re the last contestant of the day you can always jump.

Vanessa Wolfe

Vanessa is a small town girl who likes to jump off really high bridges because there’s not much else to do! She is absolutely adorable, and as she walks into the audition room, I found myself hoping she has a good voice! Even though I don’t like country music, I like her and I think she’s a bit quirky. The judges seemed to like her, even Simon although he told her she was ill-prepared and nervous. Vanessa told him she’d do backflips if she didn’t have a dress on … Simon’s reaction was predictable but still amusing! As Vanessa got the elevator down with her ticket to Hollywood, Ryan was talking to Vanessa’s mom, who had frogs in her stomach rather than butterflies, and an excited Vanessa told a smiling Ryan she’s never been on a plane before.

Ryan talked about the crew preparing for day two as we saw crowd shots which must have been from the first round auditions. Apparently Simon was less cranky than usual on day two … is that a subtle way of saying he got laid?

Jesse Hamilton

The next contestant was lucky to have made it to the show in one piece as he’s come close to death three times. Ryan asked him about it with believable sincerity, leading into three hilarious ‘cheap dramatizations’ of Jesse’s death. Ryan wondered if Jesse’s a good singer, but Jesse told Simon that he’s only sung in front of his mom. Then things started to go a little pear-shaped (story of Jesse’s life, it would seem) as he got nervous and couldn’t remember the start of his Garth Brooks song. Poor Mary got the giggles was distraught and Kara tried to cover up for her make her feel better. Randy suggested an alternative Garth Brooks song, and Jesse obliged … though it sounded as though he was channeling a strangled cat (maybe the one that gave up three of its nine lives for him). A disappointed Jesse told Ryan the judges crucified him and Ryan introduced a montage of other contestants who can’t sing.

Holly Hardin

Ryan gave the next contestant a bit of build-up by explaining that although instruments were introduced a couple of seasons ago, contestants can’t play them in front of the judges in this round … and the next contestant had found a loophole as she was dressed as a guitar. Ryan tried on Holly’s guitar-shaped glasses but thought they might be distracting. It was quite disappointing when she started to sing as she’s not bad. Simon thought the whole thing was a little weird … dressed like a guitar, looking like an insect and singing country and western. She offered to lose the guitar outfit, but didn’t follow through when a grinning Simon told her to go ahead. She scraped through with three yeses and burst out of the elevator in front of a grinning Ryan.

The next three contestants weren’t so lucky. Simon compared Lethan Davenport to a barking cat , Randy told Hansel Enriquez singing isn’t his thing and Kara told Britney fan Blake Smith that ‘oops’ is right after hearing his version of Oops! I did it Again.

Mallorie Haley

Mallorie looks the part and has a decent voice. The judges all like her and with four yeses, she’s through.

Antonio Wheeler

Antonio calls himself Skii Bo Ski, and it’s almost written on his shirt. I didn’t like his voice and I like him even less, though he could provide a bit of comedy as he doesn’t know when to stop talking. Simon thought his singing was awful and his dancing terrible, but the other judges liked his voice so he went through … and bounced around the holding room like Tigger.

Lauren Sanders and Carmen Turner

It’s BFF time so Ryan asked the two about their friendship. They told him they’ve been friends with each other since third grade, and the way they finish each other’s sentences makes me think that’s because they’re too annoying for anyone else to be around. Ryan asked the important question: what’s going to happen if one makes it through and the other doesn’t. They don’t think it’s going to happen, but it does because the judges put Carmen through to Hollywood. Simon consoled the two by telling them that he wouldn’t have put either through to the next round, and he doesn’t think they’ll be separated for long. He’s all heart. Ryan’s there to get a reaction from the BFFs, but there’s no cat fight or jealous tears so it’s all a bit dull.

Ryan introduced a segment of southern belles who all struck a discordant note, giving Simon a migraine. As Simon left the judging room, Ryan questioned whether Simon’s ears were really ringing or if he was trying to avoid the next contestant.

Bryan Walker

Police officer Bryan was a hit with the judges, getting three yeses and a ticket to Hollywood. Ryan said on the voiceover that he’s never seen a police officer so excited to get a ticket but didn’t appear to be there when he came out. Perhaps Ryan was avoiding the police officer too … what have the boys been up to?

Lamar Royal

Before going in to see the judges, Lamar said he’d respect the judges’ opinion no matter what. That’s lucky because he didn’t sing very well; it was as if he was somehow squeezing his voice out with more power than his vocal chords can handle, making the whole thing sound strangled. Randy told him it was kind of torturous and Lamar looked pissed and kept singing over Randy’s comments. You’d think that’d make Randy change his mind, huh. Mary told him to find some humility and he didn’t look happy about that either. It’s a good job he was respecting those judges’ opinions, because I’d hate to hear what he really thought! He left with what sounded like (if I’m interpreting the beeps correctly) a “fuck ya’ll” and “fuck Mary J Blige because she can’t sing. Who the fuck is Kara? Who the fuck is she! I wish Paula was here.” Thankfully Ryan wasn’t in sight for him to continue ranting. I feel kinda sorry for Lamar as he was obviously crushed. I wonder if he regrets his reaction.

General Larry Platt

Larry was clearly much too old to be a serious contestant, but he told the judges he wanted to sing his own song “Pants on the Ground”. The judges thought he was hilarious and Ryan was watching from the side, joining the judges at the end. There’s a clip of Ryan watching Larry do sit-ups and asking “is that an original?” as Larry sang his song earlier, but the best part was Ryan’s dry “pants on the ground” at the end.

There were 25 golden tickets from Atlanta and again no real stand out for me. I really liked Vanessa Wolfe, but that was for her quirkiness not her singing, and Noel Reese sounded promising.

photos: RyanSeacrest, DarikonStar94

video: youtube.com/ryanseacrest

The season’s off to a great start as Ryan’s looking really fine! I love these early episodes with Ryan’s voiceovers but it’s a shame he didn’t follow through with his thought of streaking across the field …

Janet McNamara

The first contestant started her singing career on the American Idol game. While she was singing ‘Take me Away’, the only thing going through the judges’ minds could be ‘please, someone…’. After getting a resounding no, she left the room swearing as a smirking Ryan reminded her that kids are watching … she apologised and swore again. Ryan was looking at her as if she’s a particularly curious exhibit, then tried to keep a straight face as Janet told him what Paula had said. Ryan wanted to know “what audition were you in!” then gave her a man hug … and nearly collected her friend with his arm.

Maddy Curtis

16-year-old Maddy was slightly overawed to meet the judges, but made a decent job of Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah. Ryan initially stood back when she left the judging room but gave her brother a hug, saying “there’s some power behind that!”

Ryan said guest judge Victoria Beckham was settling in nicely, and the first golden ticket had everyone in the holding room buzzing … except a miserable-looking guy who’s already fed up of waiting.

Pat Ford

Pat sang Britney’s Womanizer with feeling, but Simon wasn’t feeling it. In fact, he looked vaguely ill. Randy asked Pat how he thought he did, but Pat wanted to tell Simon that he is even sassier in person than on TV. I think Simon has a fan! Randy told him to stop singing forever but wanted to hang out.

Ryan told us in his commentary that it wasn’t going too well for the boys, but there were some hopefuls amongst the girls. We saw brief clips of Jennifer Hirsch, Claire Fuller and Jess Wolfe going through and Ryan came running out of the judges’ room just ahead of a golden ticket-wielding contestant.

Amedeo DiRocco

Larger than life Amadeo’s Italian passion came through in his powerful voice; the judges liked him and it was Simon’s favourite audition of the day. With four yeses and a golden ticket, Amadeo ran out and was swamped by his family. Ryan got caught up in the first scrum but turned and made a run for it when it looked as though they were going for a rematch, saying on the voiceover that ‘the testosterone level may be a little much at this point’, adding that Boston needed to mellow out a bit … showing that it’s important to be careful what you wish for as they cut to the next contestant.

Derek Hilton

Derek thinks he sounds like Chris Brown, but after listening to his nasal tone and odd affectations, the judges didn’t agree. Simon thought Derek was channeling 20 different people; every one of them horrible … but it’s okay as Derek knows he’s amazing.

Mere Doyle

Anime freak Mere felt good shouting her way through the audition, but the judges certainly didn’t. She came out of the room crying and was comforted by her family with no Ryan in sight … probably didn’t want to get dubious substances on his shoulder.

Next up, Luke Shaffer and Benjamin Bright both went through. I liked Benjamin quite a lot, he has a sweet voice and a nice face.

Andrew Fenlan

Nobody had told Andrew Fenlan that pleasantries, personality and patience were part of the audition process, so he was just pissed — at waiting around, interviews, the judges … everything, really. He perked up a little when Ryan pointed him in the direction of the judges’ room, but managed to rub the judges up the wrong way from the outset. Simon was clearly amused but pointed out that Andrew was sulky and aggressive from the moment he walked in, and Kara told him straight that she doesn’t like him at all. Victoria pointed out the important part: that he doesn’t have the voice to back up the attitude. Obviously the judges are wrong, so Andrew set them straight but still left with a no, telling Ryan that Simon and Randy liked him before looking astounded at Kara’s reaction after Ryan quipped about their connection.

Bill Bloom and Michael Ryan also made an impression, though not the one they hoped for, but fortunately the same couldn’t be said of the next contestant.

Ashley Rodriguez

Beautiful Ashley has a great voice, and the stage personality to match. The judges loved her and Simon thought she had the elusive ‘it’. Ashley looks like one to watch! It looked like Ryan was going for a hug after she’d greeted her relatives, but she wasn’t paying attention and missed out. Girl! Where are your priorities? Ticket to Hollywood or a hug from Ryan … I know which I’d rather have!

Tyler Grady

Drummer Tyler said he’d busted his wrists falling out of a tree before heading into his audition with a shoulder bump from Ryan. He charmed Kara and Victoria, and even Randy and Simon thought he was cool. Tyler was stoked to get through and hadn’t expected a yes from Simon. Ryan said there were 17 others through from the first day in Boston.

At the start of Day Two, Randy blamed their late arrival on Simon looking for the Boston Tea Party. Simon joked about knowing the history “they didn’t like us and threw us out!” then Ryan voiced over a blaggers’ guide to the history of Boston and the revolution before moving on to the first contestant of the day.

Lisa Olivero

Ryan asked Lisa about her singing background. She’s self-taught but thinks she’s good enough to be on the show … but unfortunately she couldn’t carry a tune. Randy told her she was terrible, but Kara told her to practice. Simon’s first impression of her was positive, but he told her he couldn’t sit through that again … until she swung her hips on the way out and Randy and Simon looked as though they were about to have a change of heart!

Ryan Keane’s Ring of Fire didn’t set the judges alight and Ryan was concerned about Anglo-American relations as Simon couldn’t understand the people of Boston.

Mike Davis

Mike from Codzilla had a nice voice but sounded a bit off in parts. Kara really liked him so he started making a move … Simon said yes and bailed but Randy didn’t think he was good enough. Ryan, waiting outside with the family, said that no-one had got through — then Mike burst out with his golden ticket. He joked to his mother that he’d got a date with Kara too, so Ryan took him to one side for a little man-to-man chat …

Katie Stevens

The judges loved 16-year-old Katie’s natural talent and Ryan got a little emotional outside as Katie phoned her sick grandmother to let her know the good news.

Joshua Blaylock

Joshua is 28 and was taking his last opportunity to audition for American Idol. He was a little ordinary but fairly inoffensive. Simon found it forgettable and Victoria asked if he was holding back. Joshua admitted he was perhaps a little too nice, so the judges gave him some assertiveness training, then put him through to with instructions to bring a little positive mental attitude to Hollywood.

Ryan introduced a quick look behind-the-scenes shot to explain why some contestants lose it when they get in front of the judges, before introducing a few contestants they perhaps wish had got lost.

Justin Williams

27-year-old Justin told Ryan about beating cancer and sang Feeling Good. The guy can certainly sing but it was a little M.O.R. Randy wanted to know if that was the type of singer he wanted to be and the judges put him through. Is this the same Justin Williams who made it to Hollywood Round 2 (Kris Allen and Matt Giraud’s group) last year?

Norberto Guerroro

My first thought was that Norberto looked like a cross between an Eastern European drag queen and an Eurovision Song Contest contestant. After Norberto sang a tortured version of Cascada, a bemused-looking Simon told him he sings like a three year old girl and dresses like LaToya Jackson. Unsurprisingly it was a resounding ‘no’.

Bosa Mora

Ryan joked with Bosa’s family about no-one wanting to sit behind his mom if he got through because they wouldn’t be able to see over her headwear. Simon thought Bosa was good but boring (a fair assessment). Victoria didn’t agree, and called Simon out for rolling his eyes because he disagreed with her! Simon said no but the other three put Bosa through, telling him he has a lot of work to do. Bosa walked out of the room looking vaguely stunned and Ryan got caught up in his mom’s enthusiasm.

Leah Laurenti

It didn’t sound as though Leah’s family had encouraged her to pursue a career as a singer, but fortunately her personality is as powerful as her voice and she pursued her dream anyway. Randy liked the jazzy thing she had going on and all four judges put her through.

Ryan said that a total of 32 contestants made it through to Hollywood before the show closed with a montage of happy contestants through to the next round.

I enjoyed the premiere and I’m really happy to have Ryan back on my TV! I didn’t miss Paula and thought Victoria did a decent job; she looked a little hesitant at times but I enjoyed seeing her put Simon in his place. I wasn’t blown away by any of the talent, but Ashley Rodriguez, Justin Williams and Benjamin Bright are the ones I’m interested to see more of.

If the video doesn’t load, view it here: Boston Auditions Recap

American Idol returns to our screens tonight on Fox with the two-hour audition shows from Boston and tomorrow with auditions from Atlanta. If you’re watching at UK-pace, Boston auditions air tomorrow and Atlanta auditions on Thursday at 1930 on ITV2. Ryan has completed the voice-overs for these shows and is currently filming Hollywood week with Simon, Randy, Kara and new judge Ellen DeGeneres.

After the news broke yesterday that Simon is leaving American Idol after this season to launch The X Factor in the US, Ryan tweeted to say he would have Simon on his radio show today. That should be a great interview — it’s always fun to listen to Ryan and Simon together! You can listen to Ryan’s radio show live online: On-Air with Ryan Seacrest or catch up with the audio later via Ryan’s podcast, website or here.

On today’s radio show, Ryan talked to Simon about leaving American Idol after this season to launch The X Factor in the US. Simon said he was very sad about leaving, and told Ryan that negotiations have been going backwards and forwards for months and even as they were heading to the press conference the deal wasn’t signed and the press conference nearly didn’t go ahead. In the end, Simon signed the paperwork in front of the press.

Simon said Ryan would miss him, then wanted to know if Ryan’s first thought on hearing the news was “how can this benefit me”! Simon joked about the rumour that Ryan is going to replace him, in addition to hosting the show, jumping backwards and forwards between the stage and the desk so he can have another job.

Talking about The X Factor, Ryan mentioned Simon’s success overseas and wanted to know how he knew this was the right time to bring it to the US. Simon talked about deciding not to do both shows and knowing when it’s the right time to go, joking about Ryan knowing all about over-exposure on TV. Ryan asked what Simon would miss about being on the American Idol set. Simon said he’ll miss everything because they had fun, but didn’t sound quite so convinced when Ryan said Simon would miss traveling around to film the audition shows!

Ryan quizzed Simon on Paula’s involvement and judges (I think Ryan would be an awesome judge and mentor!), and Ellen K wanted to know if the show has a host, but Simon wasn’t giving anything away on air, sounding quite gleeful that he could annoy Ryan by withholding information.

American Idol is back on our screens this week, and Ryan said on his radio show yesterday that filming for Hollywood week takes place next week so everyone will be back in town this weekend.

The Season Premiere of American Idol airs in the US Tuesday and Wednesday at 8pm on Fox and in the UK Wednesday and Thursday at 7.30pm on ITV2.