American Idol 2010

via ignazwisdom

Adam Lambert performed live at Heaven nightclub in London, UK on Monday night.

The show opened with a change of scenery: backstage. Ryan walked between two lines of contestants, explaining the importance of the show:

The next two hours mean the world to these ten people. This spot backstage is the final chance they have to collect themselves.

Simon asked, “are we on camera?” as Ryan, still being serious, continued, “you can literally hear a pin drop.” Well, no, we couldn’t, but we could hear Simon tell Ryan that he and Ellen were making out. Sometimes it seems like he’ll say anything to get Ryan’s attention!

Ryan, apparently seeing a perfect opportunity to get Simon focussed on someone else, even his good buddy, encouraged Simon to give her a kiss. And after asking permission (he’s an old fashioned boy), Simon gave Ellen a peck as Kara and Randy got in on the action and the contestants watched on in bemusement.

Ryan said that once the contestants walk through the doors, which was the audience’s cue to scream and cheer, the atmosphere changes. The spotlights came on, Ryan walked out, the crowd went nuts, and Ryan said, “THIS is American Idol!”

Then Ryan must have had to move quickly, because by the time the opening credits had finished, he was at the top of the stairs of doom ready to scare us all half to death with his descent.

Once the judges were seated and Ryan was centre stage, he asked the audience to shout out the name of the person they loved the most. One name rolled into another, but Ryan managed to pick out “Clay Aiken” and “Simon.”

Kara shouted out that it was Simon who said “Simon” … I find that very hard to believe! That Kara shouted, I mean, not that Simon loves himself the most.

Ryan greeted the judges, then bounded behind the row of contestants on the stage, stopping behind Casey and Tim and jumping up and down because Casey is too tall. We suggest Idol needs a criterion change for next season: scrap the age limit and replace it with a height limit.

Ryan introduced this week’s mentor, Usher, who hadn’t realised the show was indoors. To put Usher at ease about his sunglasses faux pas, Ryan generously put his on too.

Ryan introduced Siobhan from behind Ellen and Kara.

The judges didn’t rate Siobhan’s performance at all. Ryan gave Siobhan a chance to explain that she’d picked a song she knew would be a challenge, but she’d hoped to kill it in a good way. Simon said it was more like manslaughter so Ryan got the judges to give some advice on managing risk-taking. There was another backstage shot of a despondent Siobhan getting empty words of comfort from the other contestants. At least, I hope they’re empty because it’s a supposed to be a competition and they should all be rubbing their hands with glee when someone as strong as Siobhan has a bad night!

Casey’s performance went a little better than Siobhan’s with Simon telling him it was his best yet. Kara wanted Casey to show her everything he’s got, prompting Ryan to check that she was talking about his singing.

Big Mike did his performance sitting right behind the judges and unsurprisingly they had nothing but nice things to say. Ryan pointed out that the judges were watching Mike’s performance on their screens, not ignoring him completely. Either that or they were IMing each other.

Next up was Didi who got emotional while talking with Usher, sang badly, got panned by the judges, and didn’t take Ryan’s offer of a lifeline when he tried to coax her to play the sob story card. It got a little awkward when Didi refused to play the game, then she said that Ryan just wanted her to say she was singing about him … which a wide-eyed Simon wanted to have a word with her about!

The backstage contestant cam was still in force, but the best bit is Ryan’s voiceover tone which wouldn’t be out of place doing commentary for a wildlife documentary.

Next up was Tim and Ryan quizzed him about the ‘Teflon Tim’ nickname, reading out a few of Simon’s kind words from last week: “completely, utterly pointless and silly.” Tim referred to Simon’s wisdom, and I didn’t hear anything more as I was anticipating Ryan’s joke … “with all of that age comes wisdom.” Tim was delighted with the comments such as “you sucked the soul out of the song” “you looked like you were tiptoeing into a bedroom” “completely inappropriate song”. Yup. He’s lost it.

Back from the break, Ryan was sitting on Randy’s knee sitting on the desk next to Randy, though he seemed more interested in Ellen’s tie. He moved along to lean on the desk between Kara and Simon to introduce Andrew, and Simon made a show of moving away, which is good because as long as Simon pretends to be intimidated, Ryan’s probably going to get up in his personal space. The judges thought it was a huge improvement, but Simon wanted to tell Andrew that he’s boring and needs to get some personality. Someone called Simon boring, which stopped him in his tracks while Ryan helpfully pointed out the heckler.

Simon didn’t seem too grateful, telling Ryan to get back on the stage … probably before he brought someone down for a confrontation. Nice try Simon, but Ryan brought Andrew’s mom down to sort him out! Ryan orchestrated a bit of drama while Andrew hoped his mom played nice, Simon tried to keep the peace, and Mama Garcia tried to lick Ryan’s tie leaned close to talk into Ryan’s mic. Hilarious. Ryan Seacrest: Architect of the Crazy.

Next up was Katie. The judges argued over the kind of artist she should be, with everyone disagreeing with Simon, prompting Ryan to clarify that they were all saying he’s wrong. Ryan stage whispered to Katie asking her who she was going to listen to, then joked with her dad about being in the bar for the results show.

The judges loved Lee’s performance, Simon calling it life-changing. Ryan added, “that was awesome. We have ourselves a competition.”

Ryan introduced Crystal’s meeting with Usher from the mosh pit. The judges were happy with her performance, but Simon was worried about her changing. Crystal assured Simon she would stay true to herself and looked a little confused as Ryan discussed Kara’s fashion with her.

Back from the last break we saw the judges and Ryan walk into the studio, Ryan doing the link as he walked. Simon, acting every 1 of his 50 years … I mean acting 1 of his 50 years … put his hand over Ryan’s mouth so he couldn’t speak, making him gag.

Last to go was Aaron. The judges liked it, though Simon said it was a little like a cupcake if Lee’s performance was the main course, so Ryan told Aaron that some people like cupcakes better than the main course.

On the results show, Ruben Studdard performed and afterwards Ryan called Big Mike over and stood between the two of them looking teeny tiny.

Ryan took up a fighting stance to introduce the Ford promo and cut to the video with an enthusiastic “yeah!”

After that it was time for Ryan to toy with the contestants, but first he wanted to take a closer look at Mike’s purple ponytail. If Mike doesn’t make it on Idol, he can always try out for My Little Pony the Musical.

Ryan started with the top row, sent Lee and Casey to safety then stopped to get a bit of advice about pretending you’re in love from Simon.

That left Siobhan and Katie on the top row. Siobhan made it through despite a bad performance and Katie went off to take a stool in the departure lounge. Ryan went over to tell Simon not to gloat when someone made it to the bottom three. Simon sounded cross telling Ryan he was really getting on his nerves, he wasn’t gloating, and stop leaning over!

Didi was first to find out her fate on the bottom row, and Ryan sent her to join Katie. Next up was Mike, and Ryan went in for the fake out:

If that’s what happens when Mike is SAFE, I predict that Ryan is never going to send him home no matter WHAT is written on his card! Crystal was the next one Ryan put through, and she said she could pick him up too … Ryan said she could because he only weighs 95lb. That left Tim and Andrew. Andrew was safe, and Tim was the third member of the bottom three.

Katie was the first sent to safety, Tim scraped through again and Didi had to sing for survival. The judges didn’t use the save on Didi, so she’s out of the competition. Sadly for Didi, it seems it pays to trust Ryan when he invites a contestant to bore us with a sob story.

Ryan opened the show: “Everything they’ve ever worked for has led up to this moment. You’ve chosen the top twelve and tonight is their debut. Welcome to the main event. This is American Idol.”

The judges appeared centre stage and were introduced by a voiceover, then Ryan was introduced and made his grand entrance down the stairway, which makes me nervous because I’m afraid it’s going to swallow him whole ever since Debbie the stage manager was injured during a rehearsal last year.

Ryan, with one of his jacket buttons undone again, and his pocket square unusually crooked, welcomed everyone to the big stage, hyped up the tension, and asked the audience to give the judges a little more love, unbuttoning his jacket and putting his arms back … which really scuppered the chances of a good screenshot while his back was to camera. Randy, Ellen and Kara were all smiles as they looked around, while Simon stared ahead and scratched his nose with a ghost of a smile.

After refastening his jacket’s one functional button, Ryan pointed out the audience of 450 screaming fans, the cameras, the lights, and then introduced the finalists. Props to whoever stuck Casey the furthest from Ryan so he didn’t look like a miniature version of himself. Ryan introduced the theme for the top twelve show: the music of The Rolling Stones and ran a clip that reminded us that they are performers of a standard most of the top 12 don’t have a hope of achieving. It looked as though someone had tried to straighten Ryan’s pocket square during the clip.

First to sing was Michael Lynche. Randy thought he’d slayed it; Ellen couldn’t see anything not to love; Kara said he’d delivered and Simon thought the performance, in particular the dancing, was corny and a tiny bit desperate. Ryan asked Mr Cowell to explain what about the dancing or other parts of the performance looked desperate, but Simon avoided the question asking, “do you want me to talk to you or talk to Mike?”

It seemed Simon was spoiling for a fight, and Ryan was just the man to give him one. Unfastening his jacket, Ryan walked purposefully off the front of the stage towards the judges’ table, put his hands on the desk in front of Simon, leaned in and told him, “I’m actually trying to help him out a little bit buddy… Are you alright with that?”

The camera cut to Ryan as seen from Simon’s perspective. Ryan could have looked almost menacing, but for a slight smirk and a twinkle in his eye that suggested, “your move, Cowell.” Simon would have gained the upper hand if he’d reached for Ryan and pulled him in a little closer, but instead he pushed his chair back a metre to get Ryan out of his personal space, while the other judges, the audience and several million viewers cheered Ryan on.

Simon repeatedly told Ryan to get back on the stage, then politely asked him to get back on the stage. Ryan calmly ignored Simon and continued talking until he’d finished telling him to give Mike some constructive criticism, then turned and walked back up to Mike as Simon, looking a little less uncomfortable once Ryan was out of his face, regained his composure.

In his need to have the last word, Simon made Ryan an interesting offer, “Ryan, we can sort this out in my trailer afterwards, if that’s what you want to do!” After refusing, Ryan’s mind went quickly to the only place possible, “I know YOU want to.” Bravo! The Ryan and Simon Show is back, and Ryan’s taking no prisoners. Particularly while Mike’s there to … uh … give Ryan a shoulder massage.

Nothing much else happened this episode. A few people sang badly, a few people delivered forgettable performances and Crystal and Siobhan reminded us that we were watching a singing competition. Meanwhile, Simon tried to hold Ryan’s hand, Ryan’s pocket square eventually stopped trying to escape, Coca Cola logos were blurred out for sensitive UK audiences, and Ryan’s jacket button continued to provide intrigue and drama. Would it be undone? Would it be fastened? Find out, after the break.

Oh, Simon! Ryan has already said he doesn’t want to see your etchings visit your trailer. Leave the poor man be.

I was still grinning about Ryan’s ‘fight’ with Simon when results day arrived. The show opened with a recap of the singing, then as soon as Ryan had introduced the judges, including “the very sweet Simon Cowell,” Simon and Ryan were ready to pick up where they’d left off.

Or Simon was anyway, as he asked, “you want to get the … eyeballing … out of the way?” when Ryan asked how he was. Ryan wanted to know what was wrong so Simon blamed Ryan’s aggressive behaviour last night. I don’t remember Ryan being aggressive on the show, so they must have had a show-down in Simon’s trailer after all!

Ryan explained that Simon needs to be a little more constructive, leading Simon to ask if Ryan wanted his job. Ryan gave it due consideration for a second, then said, “no … I’m comfortable with mine.” Can we take this out to a public vote? I’d love to see Ryan as a judge (though I can’t imagine anyone else hosting the show).

Simon pushed the point, saying it felt like an audition. Wait … did he pass? Judge Seacrest for The X Factor! Ryan’s reply was a neutral look so Simon offered a peace pipe, “can we agree we don’t cross the line … the eyeballing … the aggressive behaviour …” That doesn’t sound much of a deal for Ryan, and he didn’t think so either: “No! I love it,” then told Simon to stop staring at him.

Clearly not happy, Simon said, “it was uncomfortable. It was uncomfortable,” to which Ryan deadpanned, “so is this.” Ryan asked Simon if he could explain the judges’ save … or if he needed a script … but Simon wanted to know that he and Ryan were still BFFs, telling him not to do it again after Ryan shook his hand.

As Simon started to explain the save, Ryan was listening so intently he leaned right in and Simon told him to “back off,” which wasn’t friendly at all. Ryan has been brought up to pay attention to his elders! After they’d finished bantering, Simon told Ryan to keep practicing the eyeballing, so we know he likes it really.

The rest of the show whizzed by with Ryan barely having time to toy with the contestants before telling them they were safe or sending them to the stools of doom. Which is okay as it’s much more entertaining when he toys with Simon instead.

The show included performances from David Cook, Orianthi and Kesha, and America voted to send Lacey Brown home, with Paige Miles and Tim Urban joining her in the bottom three. The judges have just one save available to them for the whole season, and they didn’t use it on Lacey, Simon telling her it was a unanimous decision, so it was the end of the road.

Next week the top 11 will perform … according to my TV schedule it’s a one hour show, so I hope the time isn’t too tight for them to squeeze in a little episode of the Ryan and Simon Show.

Ryan found an empty seat at the judging table to welcome viewers to the show. No, Simon wasn’t still outside after sneaking a last-minute cigarette; he was seated in his usual spot … and so was Ellen as she made herself comfortable in Simon’s lap and smooched his cheek, acting oblivious to the cameras. Having a woman in his lap seems to be a new trend for Simon.

Ryan: Say hi to Randy … this is Kara … and this is something we should know about!

Simon: This is quite uncomfortable.

Ellen: My god! I didn’t know we’d started, I’m so sorry!

Ryan said, “everything is riding on these performances tonight,” as the camera cut to a shot of the guys sitting at the side of the stage. Alex Lambert was up late rehearsing if his yawn was any indication, and Lee Dewyze looked as though he had just remembered he’d been told to pull his pants up before getting on stage this week. Ryan let Simon ramble about this being a bad week to go, then pointed out that he’d already said the same thing, “…so the stakes are high?” “Highest they’ve ever been.” “I think I said it simply.” “But I said it with believability!” “Exactly.” Simon looked as though he’d lost sight of who was ahead in their exchange as Ryan introduced Katie Stevens, gave him a pat on the shoulders, told him, “good job!” as if he was praising a three year old, and disappeared off set.

Katie Stevens sang Kelly Clarkson’s Break Away. The judges weren’t blown away. Kara, snuggling up to Simon, said Katie doesn’t really know who she is as an artist. Simon agreed, telling Katie she “kind of sucked”. Just as I was thinking that was blunt even for Simon, he added, “the energy out of it a little bit,” almost as an afterthought. Simon didn’t quite seem himself. Simon felt Katie had tried to take their advice, but he would have suggested a different song. She needs a mentor, Simon — maybe she could try out for The X Factor if Idol doesn’t work out. Ryan asked Katie what she was trying to get done with the song, and Katie explained herself quite well, giving reasons for her song choice that related back to specific advice from the judges and how she felt in the competition.

Siobhan Magnus told Ryan she was singing House Of The Rising Sun by The Animals as a surprise for her dad who was the one who first taught her about singing. Ryan asked her who was the better singer. Siobhan said she thinks her dad is the best singer she’s heard and he thinks she’s the best he’s heard. Ryan sent her off to get ready, saying “we’ll be the judge … I don’t think we have time for him to sing tonight though, do we!” Randy loved it. Ellen is from New Orleans and knows that house! Kara loved Siobhan’s a cappella at the start and Simon thought it was all a bit weird. Ryan asked Simon if there was any credit for showing range, saying it was brave to stand up there and sing a cappella. Simon, exhaling, replied, “yes, I’m aware of that. But what she didn’t have was what I said, if you were listening, was that ‘moment’ from last week.” Ryan pointed out it was one against three as Simon told Ryan to “just pay a little more attention and you’ll get it,” which seemed like payback for Ryan’s previous “pay attention to your monitor, pretty boy” comment.

Lacey Brown sang The Story by Brandi Carlile. The judges thought she was much improved. Randy thought it was a little sleepy but her best performance for a while and Ellen agreed, commenting on her distinctive voice. Kara called the singing effortless, and while Simon didn’t love love the song, he thought Lacey sang it really really well.

Randy was still making his way back to his seat after the break as Ryan introduced Katelyn Epperly who sang Carole King’s I Feel The Earth Move. Randy didn’t feel any connection. Ellen pointed to her keyboard and joked, “is that a guitar?” before saying it wasn’t enough. Kara didn’t feel Katelyn was competing, and Simon, looking as though he was trying to sit on Kara’s lap, liked Katelyn’s hair but thought other people looked as though they were trying harder. Ryan picked up on a comment Katelyn had made to Kara about trying to be less corny, allowing her to explain that she was just trying to perform without concentrating on the cameras.

Ryan pointed out the guys who would perform the next day. As the camera cut to the guys, Big Mike made rabbit shadow puppets with his hands, blocking out Tim Urban’s face, while Andrew Garcia made his hand grow out of Tim’s head. Stop picking on Tim, fellas! Casey gave a cheesy thumbs up behind Mike’s head, missing the opportunity to accidentally give him horns under the guise of a peace sign. Alex Lambert pointed at Aaron, who wasn’t playing.

Didi Benami sang Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac. Randy thought it was a whole lot better than last week. Ellen said yes indeedy Didi, and liked what she did with it. Kara said it was one of her favourite moments of the show this season and Simon agreed, saying it was head and shoulders above everything else they’d heard that night. Ryan laughed as he pointed out that last week she was almost in tears and this week she had a huge grin. Didi tried to escape the stage and Ryan had to pull her back, telling her, “just hang with me, sweetheart!”

Ryan introduced Paige Miles singing Nat King Cole’s Smile, then took Didi’s arm, telling her, “now you can come!” Randy told Paige the song is too big for her, Ellen thought it was sad and heavy, Kara agreed, adding it was all wrong, and Simon said it was a horrible song choice and a “peanut performance”. While Paige told Ryan how singing that song made her feel, Simon attempted to evoke some feelings in himself by stroking his own chest.

After the break, Ryan was back at the judges’ table and Simon leaned in to tell him, “no you can’t sit on my lap!” That seems to have been wishful thinking on Simon’s part, as Ryan looked perfectly happy sitting in Simon’s chair while Simon leaned over the desk. After introducing Crystal Bowersox singing Tracy Chapman’s Give Me One Reason, Ryan grabbed Simon’s arm playfully while Simon continued to pretend he didn’t want a lapful of Ryan. Simon just needs to cosy up to Randy to make it a full house. The judges loved Crystal. Randy thought it was hot, Ellen needs new adjectives, Kara thought it was a great song choice and Simon thought she was one million, billion percent going to be in the top twelve. Ryan joined Crystal, sitting on the other side of her amp, saying, “just chilling!”

Lilly Scott closed the show with Patsy Cline’s I Fall To Pieces. Randy thought she was in the zone, Ellen loves her, Kara said she’d made the song feel contemporary and Simon thought it was a brave song choice and possibly a risky thing to do. Ryan closed the show with, “we are out, bye bye!” and an adorable wave. Sometimes he’s too cute for his own good.

On performance day two the show opened with Ryan playing a game of memory. Debbie had apparently shown Ryan the 8 guys labelled with their names before the show started, then taken the name cards away and made him walk along the row and recall the names. He did good. Well done, Ryan! Now let’s see Simon try it.

Ryan introduced the judges, stopping to nibble on Ellen’s ear and give Simon a little shoulder massage, then asked Simon and Kara why they’re sitting so closely together this year because they seem inseparable. Kara said Simon is leaning into him because he has separation issues and is missing his fianceé, so Ryan told Simon Kara is his binky. Kara laughed as Simon gave Ryan a confused look and asked what a binky is. Sometimes it’s hard to believe Simon has spent so much time in The States!

Randy thought Owl City’s Fireflies was a strange strong choice for Lee Dewyze, but said it worked. Ellen heard a few pitch problems but knows a lot of people like Lee. Simon’s binky thought Lee had improved the song and Simon took his elbows out of Kara long enough to tell Lee he didn’t think he had a ‘moment’, while Ryan twiddled his fingers as he watched from the side. I sometimes wonder if Ryan knows how to keep still. He usually looks like a bundle of energy waiting to explode.

Alex Lambert sang Trouble by Ray LaMontagne. Randy thought he could have done a little more with it. Ellen told him he’d become a mushy banana and warned him against becoming a cocky banana. Kara said that the only thing standing in the way of him winning is Alex himself and Simon agreed with Kara, advising Alex to imagine Randy in a bikini, promising he’d get Randy in a bikini next week if Alex is still there. Ryan wasn’t sure if the thought of Randy in a bikini would take Alex to the same place it takes Simon and got the giggles after reading out Alex’s numbers, telling Simon he was blushing and saying he didn’t think Simon really meant it the way it came out.

Tim Urban took on Jeff Buckley’s Hallelujah. Randy thought he did a pretty good job. Ellen ran up onto the stage to give Tim a hug and tell him it was fantastic. As she ran back to her seat Ryan asked, “do you want to give out the numbers?” Kara thought he’d showed the emotion and Simon felt responsible for Tim doing well, adding it was his strongest performance in the competition so far. Ryan said it was the first time a judge has gone up on stage for a hug, so Ellen decided she would take responsibility for Tim’s performance. Then Randy said it was actually him and Kara who were responsible. Amidst the laughter, Tim said it was the judging panel as a whole, so Simon teased him, “but if you had to say ONE more than the others …” Ryan helped him out, giving Simon the answer he needed, “what Simon’s trying to say is we would not exist without Simon Cowell, we shall bow to him. That’s what he’s trying to get us to do!” Simon wouldn’t let it go even when Ryan starting giving out the voting numbers so Ryan told him, “Simon, just button your shirt and be quiet for a second!”

Next up was Andrew Garcia. Ryan asked him about the judges’ obsession with Straight Up and what he’d do to get into the top twelve. Andrew had decided to go back to the roots and sing Genie In A Bottle from Christina Aguilera with no over thinking it. Randy liked his cardigan but didn’t think the song worked. Ellen thought it was a good song choice but thought the genie didn’t come out of the bottle until the end. Kara said he peaked early and Simon thought it was a little bit desperate. Ryan wanted to go back to the Paula Abdul song again and asked Andrew, “do you think that if you could have done it differently, you would have done the same thing?”

Casey James sang You’ll Think Of Me by Keith Urban. Randy thought it was a safe choice. Ellen thought it was great. Kara was back on the Casey train but wanted to see a little bit more of from him. Simon thought it was better than last week but not one he’d remember after 24 hours.

Randy liked Aaron Kelly’s version of Lonestar’s I’m Already There but thought he still had some work to do. Ellen thought the song was too tough for him. Kara didn’t think the song was relevant to Aaron’s life but Simon thought that was complete and utter rubbish but the vocal wasn’t great.

Todrick Hall performed Somebody To Love from Queen. Randy said, “Todrick is back!” calling it one of the best vocals from a man over the past couple of weeks. Ellen couldn’t believe he was singing that song but thought he did a good job. Kara thought it was good singing but dramatic, comparing it to Glee. Simon thought it was good in parts, but said Todrick’s made it clear now that he’s a Broadway singer.

Ryan said his twin, Big Mike, would be up next but seemed more interested in a couple of girls in the audience when they came back from commercial. Ryan introduced Michael Lynch to sing Maxwell’s This Woman’s Work with the words, “this guy recently turned from a pussycat into a lion … Simon’s words, not mine!” The judges loved it. Randy called it crazy. Ellen thought it was beautiful and he’s the one to beat. Kara was moved to tears and crying on Simon’s shoulder. Simon thought it was the best performance of the live shows so far. Ryan bounced all over the stage, imitating Michael working the stage before reading out his numbers. Maybe he should lay off the caffeine a little! On the plus side, I suppose Big Mike can’t pick up a moving target.

Ryan signed off with a wave and “good bye!”

The results show started with Ryan telling us we could be in for a surprise or two. He then introduced the judges, taking time out for a chat about last night.

Ryan: You were really great last night, Simon.

Simon: Do you know, I thought the same thing.

Ryan: Yeah I know you do. You were on your game.

Boys, please. Get a room!

Things then took a turn for the worse as Ryan reminded us of the mental image we’d spent the past 24 hours scrubbing from our minds: Randy in a bikini. A photoshop of Randy’s face on bikini boy Ty Hemmerling’s body appeared on the screen behind Ryan as Simon quipped, “is that from your home collection, Ryan?”

Ryan announced the top 12:

• Crystal Bowersox
• Siobhan Magnus
• Didi Benami
• Michael Lynche
• Lee Dewyze
• Casey James
• Tim Urban
• Andrew Garcia
• Aaron Kelly
• Katie Stevens
• Lacey Brown
• Paige Miles

which means that Lilly Scott, Katelyn Epperly, Alex Lambert and Todrick Hall are out. A couple of unexpected eliminations, but I’m happy my favourite made it through.

Ryan announced that next week’s theme for the top twelve will be the music of the Rolling Stones.

Does Ryan have a crush on Didi? Does Didi have a crush on Ryan? Access Hollywood asked her.

Ahead of the first of this week’s American Idol live shows, here’s a look back at what happened last week.

The first performance show opened with Ryan saying that the contestants had survived their first results show, then shaking hands with a girl in the audience, pausing to say, “hello, thanks for watching the show!”

This was a perfect opportunity to grab a screenshot that illustrates two questions. What’s going on with that oft-neglected second button on Ryan’s jacket? And, is that a Blackberry in his jacket pocket … if so, why isn’t he tweeting during the breaks!

The girls were scheduled to perform first, but Ryan explained that the guys would be performing instead because Crystal Bowersox had been taken ill and hospitalised. As he introduced the judges, Ryan asked Randy if switching the performance nights around would affect the guys (not really) then asked Ellen whether she’d ever missed a show. Ellen pretended to misunderstand, saying she’d missed Gladiators and Bewitched when they went off air, then talked about the show she did from a hospital bed one time, which Ryan remembers well because he was in it with her! Ryan asked Mr Cowell who was in the lead, the girls or the guys. Simon considered briefly, then said the girls.

Michael Lynche — he’s such a big guy, he needs to use a different measurement system when talking about the gym: the Ryan Seacrest. He benches 3 or 4 Ryan Seacrests, depending on whether the Ryan Seacrests are wearing suits. This gave them a chance to show Ryan being manhandled after auditions again. How we laughed.

Roving Ryan was at it again … during the montage, he’d moved to stand behind Kara. It’s no wonder he’s so slim! The director has him doing laps of the studio. Michael was a hit with the judges, and Ryan too, literally, as he went in for a shoulder bump.

Michael gave a shout out to his wife, complete with pointy fingers … which Ryan, naturally, picked up on! Ryan asked about finding out the guys would be going first, and Michael said he was getting a pedicure at the gym, so Ryan said he was getting a manicure when he heard.

John Park — Ryan had a chat with John in the Red Room before his montage. The judges weren’t impressed, with Simon calling it a “so what” performance.

Casey James — Casey hadn’t watched the show before auditioning, so Ryan asked him if he knew the song he’d picked had a history. Casey, who is far too tall and shouldn’t be allowed to stand next to Ryan, plays a mean guitar but the judges didn’t think much of his singing.

Alex Lambert — Ryan quizzed Alex on his nerves, but was relieved that Alex told him he wasn’t planning to throw up! The judges thought he’d made a big improvement since last week. Simon wished he was choosing Alex’s songs. Hey! There’s a good idea. How about another show, similar to Idol, but where the judges choose the songs! Oh wait, there already is one … it’s called The X Factor. 8/10 for self-promotion, 4/10 for subtlety. Ryan picked up on Simon’s comment about the killer instinct, telling him, “when I fail, Simon is thrilled!” setting Simon up for an obvious comeback, “and I’m constantly thrilled.” Ryan bowed, “I’m in awe, sire!”

The new drinking game for this week is “take a shot every time Simon sneaks in a reference to The X Factor”. Last week’s drinking game “take a shot every time Ryan moves to a different part of the set” had to be replaced as several participants passed out after the first 20 shots and missed the final 110 minutes of the show.

Todrick Hall — the judges said Todrick was changing things up too much again. Ryan went to Randy for more advice then asked Todrick what he’ll do next week. He said he’s going to “just sing”, if he’s there next week.

Jermaine Sellers — Jermaine also didn’t get the memo about pulling it back a little, so the judges were disappointed in his performance. Jermaine wasn’t too worried about Simon saying he wouldn’t be there next week because Jesus is his homeboy … Simon drolly suggested that Ryan needn’t bother with the phone numer. It’s a shame Jermaine isn’t performing well because he’s great TV!

Andrew Garcia — the judges didn’t think Andrew was as good as he could be and they’re still waiting for another “Straight Up” moment. Ryan asked Andrew if he has another one like that in his back pocket.

Aaron Kelly — the judges were divided. Kara liked him, Simon said he needs to work out who he wants to be and be more current … like Justin Bieber. Ryan asked Aaron if he likes Justin Bieber, Aaron laughed but Ryan wasn’t ashamed to admit he’s a fan!

Tim Urban — Kara was out of her seat when they came back from the commercial, so Ryan helped seat her, took her hair out of her mouth, then introduced Tim in a funny voice while Kara played with his tie.

Randy, Ellen and Kara weren’t feeling Tim’s performance, but Simon disagreed, finding him much improved. Ryan asked Tim what was going through his head when he exhaled during the judges’ feedback, but when Tim replied he wasn’t going to worry about it too much this week, Ryan took Tim’s arm and told him that the judges wanted him to worry about it.

Lee Dewyze — Lee closed the guys’ show and went down well with the judges, though they made comments about his body language, which Ryan questioned him about. Ryan pointed out a pants off the ground move that Lee had made during the song, but didn’t get a chance to follow through with a reference to Larry Platt

The second performance show opened with Ryan introducing the girls. Crystal was last and he stopped her for a quick chat to ask how she was before introducing the judges. Ryan asked Kara about cozying up close to Simon’s plunging neckline. Kara and Simon discussed who was cozying up to whom, then Simon got straight to the point, “you want me, don’t you!”

Crystal Bowersox — the judges loved her and were glad she was able to perform. Simon thought he had “misunderestimated” her and compared her performance to the moment when they realised Kelly Clarkson had something special. Ryan asked if she was worried coming into the performance, but Crystal was only really nervous that she wasn’t going to be there. Ryan gave her a cute hug at the end.

Haeley Vaughn — the judges hated Haeley’s performance. Even Ellen struggled for something positive to say. After the other three judges had been negative, Simon said he didn’t want to make it worse, then told her it was a complete and utter mess and said it was ironic she sang a song about climbing when she actually fell off. Ryan challenged Simon, “how is that not making it any worse?” “What good did that do?” and was met with a stony silence and a death glare. Ryan continued on, but after he cut to break, he turned and narrowed his eyes, presumably towards Simon.

Lacey Brown — Randy thought it was a bit karaoke, Ellen said she’s adorable and she’d chosen the right song, Kara told her to step it up, and Simon thought she was focussed on the competition aspect rather than putting herself across as an artist, comparing her unfavourably to Crystal. Ryan asked Lacey what she could have done to make it more memorable, but she told him instead that she hadn’t really understood Simon’s comments. After she rambled a little, Simon stopped her saying, “so we’re all happy!”

Katie Stevens — the judges still think she needs to make herself “younger” as she comes across as much older than her seventeen years. Simon told her she needs to work out what kind of recording artist she wants to be. Ryan asked Katie what she’s going to do, then gave Justin Bieber another shout out after asking her if she is a fan of any teen artists.

Didi Benami — Ryan asked her about watching the body language of the judges while the guys were performing. Didi explained, then interrupted herself saying, “I can talk forever!” Ryan told her they wouldn’t cut her off and took her hand as he introduced her montage. The judges didn’t like her performance so Ryan took a hands-on approach to comforting her. Didi’s not the only one noticing body language, and it looks like there’s a little chemistry there!

Michelle Delamour — the judges’ feedback was mixed, with Kara and Simon liking parts of her performance and Randy talking more about the outfit. Simon said Randy was in a bad mood and they could ask Vera Wang, who was in the audience, about the outfit. Ryan talked about Michelle’s outfit too … but he’s not an expert on women’s fashion, he’d got his info from Vera. Sure, Ryan.

Lilly Scott — Ryan asked Lilly if she’d worked on stage presence and asked what tips she’d been given. She has been told she needs to open her eyes and connect with the audience. The judges like Lilly a lot though Simon thought she’d oversung a little. Ryan joked with Lilly about looking into the camera and asked if her words were in the prompter.

Katelyn Epperly — Ryan interviewed Katelyn in the Red Room before he introduced her. Randy thought it was mostly okay, Ellen liked that she was playing guitar … then realised it was a piano (Paula might be gone, but her Coke cup lives on) … but thought the song was too slow, Kara agrees but loves Katelyn, and Simon wondered if Katelyn had heard the Natasha Bedingfield version of the song, which is very similar to her interpretation.

Paige Miles — they came back from break with Debbie shouting for water, and Ryan took a bottle from someone off camera. Ever the gentleman, Ryan took the cap off the bottle before handing it to Paige. Randy wasn’t sure if she’d chosen the right song, Ellen loved it, Kara thought she could have a hit with it but didn’t think she conveyed enough anger, and Simon didn’t think she’d chosen the right song.

Siobhan Magnus — the judges love Siobhan, even though some of them thought there were a few rough parts in the song, and were impressed with her big note. Simon continued to tease Siobhan about her way of speaking, but she doesn’t appear to notice, or perhaps she does, and she just doesn’t care.

At the end, Ryan had time to ask the judges for a little feedback on the performances. Simon singled out Crystal as a stand-out but described some others as horrific. Simon actually remembers Crystal’s name, which means he must really like her. Ellen thought Crystal was great too, but didn’t see the horrific performances Simon did. Ryan said, “I can’t tell when he reacts, with the botox, any more.”

On results night, John Park and Jermaine Sellers were eliminated from the guys and Michelle Delamour and Haeley Vaughn from the girls. I think John and Michelle deserved to stay around a little longer, but neither of them looked like potential winners. My favourites at this stage are Crystal … long gap … Siobhan, Didi, Lilly and Katelyn. I’m not feeling much love for any of the guys, but I’m still holding out hope for Todrick to pull it together because I think he’s potentially the most talented of the guys. Of the others, maybe Lee, maybe Andrew. I think Michael and Casey have it together more than the other guys, but I’m not a fan of either at this point.

The funniest part of the results show was after Haeley was eliminated and Ryan gave her the mic, saying that she was going to sing “in just a second” and the guys in the control room were screaming at Debbie because they thought he was going to skip the farewell montage for the four contestants, so she started yelling at Ryan. Ryan had it under control though, “no, no, baby, in just a second. Debbie, relax, in just a second. Debbie our Stage Manager is screaming!” Ryan called Debbie onto stage after the montage and said everyone gets emotional during the live show. I love Debbie. I wish we could hear her and the control room on a back channel or something … how great would that be!

This week four more contestants will be eliminated and we’ll find out who makes the top twelve.

Ryan started building the drama as soon as the show started, telling us that the votes are in (24 million of them) and four people would be going home. He introduced the judges and asked Simon why he’d been harsher than normal the night before. Simon said he didn’t think he had been particularly harsh, adding if you’re judging the show you’ve got to give people advice. Ryan confirmed that Simon believed he was just helping, saying, “you were charitable last night? Thank you,” and moving on leaving Simon looking slightly unsure. Ryan introduced the group number … and this clip will never, ever get old:

Oh, Ryan!

Ryan had the lights dimmed for eliminations, starting with the back row of girls. Siobhan, Haeley, Michelle, Katelyn and Katie were safe but Janell was out and sang her song again.

After the break, Allison Iraheta (whose surname Ryan still can’t pronounce) performed her new single Scars.

Allison joked, “should I give you an awkward interview right now?” then laughed with Ryan about being nervous backstage, thinking she was going to be eliminated.

Ryan asked the front row of girls to stand, then told Paige, Lacey, Lilly, Crystal, and Didi to sit back down and Ashley had to sing again.

Before starting on eliminating two of the guys, Ryan introduced a tape of Tyler in a bath robe, tennis socks and boots. Again starting on the back row, Ryan told Michael, John, Aaron, Todrick and Tim that they were safe, but it was the end of the road for Joe.

Ryan announced Idol Gives Back will take place on April 21st with the support of Exxon Mobil, News Corp, Ford Motor Company, Coca Cola and AT&T.

Kris Allen was just back from Haiti and Ryan asked what it was like on the ground. Kris talked about the devastation and destruction, but also the hope. Ryan asked him to explain why the coming rainy season would be a problem before saying that proceeds from Kris’ performance on iTunes would go to the relief fund and running down other ways to donate.

Ryan asked the final row of contestants to rise before telling Casey, Jermaine, Lee, Andrew and Alex that they were safe and it was the end of the road for Tyler.

There was a journey montage for the four who are going home with Will Young’s “Leave Right Now” playing in the background. That’s hilarious!

Next week it’s the girls again on Tuesday, the guys on Wednesday and the results on Thursday.

video: Ryan Seacrest

Ashley and Janell talked to Ryan after their elimination from American Idol yesterday. Janell and Ashley were roomies and Ryan asked if they were friendly before that. He asked Ashley about making sense of being eliminated this early – she said everything happens for a reason even if it sucks, and said American Idol is the biggest platform she’s had so far. Janell had a feeling she would leave and Ryan asked if she would have done anything differently. She replied would have played guitar first week, perhaps been a little more herself putting a twist on a hip hop song.

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