April 2010 archive

Adam Lambert performed live at Heaven nightclub in London, UK on Monday night.

The show opened with a change of scenery: backstage. Ryan walked between two lines of contestants, explaining the importance of the show:

The next two hours mean the world to these ten people. This spot backstage is the final chance they have to collect themselves.

Simon asked, “are we on camera?” as Ryan, still being serious, continued, “you can literally hear a pin drop.” Well, no, we couldn’t, but we could hear Simon tell Ryan that he and Ellen were making out. Sometimes it seems like he’ll say anything to get Ryan’s attention!

Ryan, apparently seeing a perfect opportunity to get Simon focussed on someone else, even his good buddy, encouraged Simon to give her a kiss. And after asking permission (he’s an old fashioned boy), Simon gave Ellen a peck as Kara and Randy got in on the action and the contestants watched on in bemusement.

Ryan said that once the contestants walk through the doors, which was the audience’s cue to scream and cheer, the atmosphere changes. The spotlights came on, Ryan walked out, the crowd went nuts, and Ryan said, “THIS is American Idol!”

Then Ryan must have had to move quickly, because by the time the opening credits had finished, he was at the top of the stairs of doom ready to scare us all half to death with his descent.

Once the judges were seated and Ryan was centre stage, he asked the audience to shout out the name of the person they loved the most. One name rolled into another, but Ryan managed to pick out “Clay Aiken” and “Simon.”

Kara shouted out that it was Simon who said “Simon” … I find that very hard to believe! That Kara shouted, I mean, not that Simon loves himself the most.

Ryan greeted the judges, then bounded behind the row of contestants on the stage, stopping behind Casey and Tim and jumping up and down because Casey is too tall. We suggest Idol needs a criterion change for next season: scrap the age limit and replace it with a height limit.

Ryan introduced this week’s mentor, Usher, who hadn’t realised the show was indoors. To put Usher at ease about his sunglasses faux pas, Ryan generously put his on too.

Ryan introduced Siobhan from behind Ellen and Kara.

The judges didn’t rate Siobhan’s performance at all. Ryan gave Siobhan a chance to explain that she’d picked a song she knew would be a challenge, but she’d hoped to kill it in a good way. Simon said it was more like manslaughter so Ryan got the judges to give some advice on managing risk-taking. There was another backstage shot of a despondent Siobhan getting empty words of comfort from the other contestants. At least, I hope they’re empty because it’s a supposed to be a competition and they should all be rubbing their hands with glee when someone as strong as Siobhan has a bad night!

Casey’s performance went a little better than Siobhan’s with Simon telling him it was his best yet. Kara wanted Casey to show her everything he’s got, prompting Ryan to check that she was talking about his singing.

Big Mike did his performance sitting right behind the judges and unsurprisingly they had nothing but nice things to say. Ryan pointed out that the judges were watching Mike’s performance on their screens, not ignoring him completely. Either that or they were IMing each other.

Next up was Didi who got emotional while talking with Usher, sang badly, got panned by the judges, and didn’t take Ryan’s offer of a lifeline when he tried to coax her to play the sob story card. It got a little awkward when Didi refused to play the game, then she said that Ryan just wanted her to say she was singing about him … which a wide-eyed Simon wanted to have a word with her about!

The backstage contestant cam was still in force, but the best bit is Ryan’s voiceover tone which wouldn’t be out of place doing commentary for a wildlife documentary.

Next up was Tim and Ryan quizzed him about the ‘Teflon Tim’ nickname, reading out a few of Simon’s kind words from last week: “completely, utterly pointless and silly.” Tim referred to Simon’s wisdom, and I didn’t hear anything more as I was anticipating Ryan’s joke … “with all of that age comes wisdom.” Tim was delighted with the comments such as “you sucked the soul out of the song” “you looked like you were tiptoeing into a bedroom” “completely inappropriate song”. Yup. He’s lost it.

Back from the break, Ryan was sitting on Randy’s knee sitting on the desk next to Randy, though he seemed more interested in Ellen’s tie. He moved along to lean on the desk between Kara and Simon to introduce Andrew, and Simon made a show of moving away, which is good because as long as Simon pretends to be intimidated, Ryan’s probably going to get up in his personal space. The judges thought it was a huge improvement, but Simon wanted to tell Andrew that he’s boring and needs to get some personality. Someone called Simon boring, which stopped him in his tracks while Ryan helpfully pointed out the heckler.

Simon didn’t seem too grateful, telling Ryan to get back on the stage … probably before he brought someone down for a confrontation. Nice try Simon, but Ryan brought Andrew’s mom down to sort him out! Ryan orchestrated a bit of drama while Andrew hoped his mom played nice, Simon tried to keep the peace, and Mama Garcia tried to lick Ryan’s tie leaned close to talk into Ryan’s mic. Hilarious. Ryan Seacrest: Architect of the Crazy.

Next up was Katie. The judges argued over the kind of artist she should be, with everyone disagreeing with Simon, prompting Ryan to clarify that they were all saying he’s wrong. Ryan stage whispered to Katie asking her who she was going to listen to, then joked with her dad about being in the bar for the results show.

The judges loved Lee’s performance, Simon calling it life-changing. Ryan added, “that was awesome. We have ourselves a competition.”

Ryan introduced Crystal’s meeting with Usher from the mosh pit. The judges were happy with her performance, but Simon was worried about her changing. Crystal assured Simon she would stay true to herself and looked a little confused as Ryan discussed Kara’s fashion with her.

Back from the last break we saw the judges and Ryan walk into the studio, Ryan doing the link as he walked. Simon, acting every 1 of his 50 years … I mean acting 1 of his 50 years … put his hand over Ryan’s mouth so he couldn’t speak, making him gag.

Last to go was Aaron. The judges liked it, though Simon said it was a little like a cupcake if Lee’s performance was the main course, so Ryan told Aaron that some people like cupcakes better than the main course.

On the results show, Ruben Studdard performed and afterwards Ryan called Big Mike over and stood between the two of them looking teeny tiny.

Ryan took up a fighting stance to introduce the Ford promo and cut to the video with an enthusiastic “yeah!”

After that it was time for Ryan to toy with the contestants, but first he wanted to take a closer look at Mike’s purple ponytail. If Mike doesn’t make it on Idol, he can always try out for My Little Pony the Musical.

Ryan started with the top row, sent Lee and Casey to safety then stopped to get a bit of advice about pretending you’re in love from Simon.

That left Siobhan and Katie on the top row. Siobhan made it through despite a bad performance and Katie went off to take a stool in the departure lounge. Ryan went over to tell Simon not to gloat when someone made it to the bottom three. Simon sounded cross telling Ryan he was really getting on his nerves, he wasn’t gloating, and stop leaning over!

Didi was first to find out her fate on the bottom row, and Ryan sent her to join Katie. Next up was Mike, and Ryan went in for the fake out:

If that’s what happens when Mike is SAFE, I predict that Ryan is never going to send him home no matter WHAT is written on his card! Crystal was the next one Ryan put through, and she said she could pick him up too … Ryan said she could because he only weighs 95lb. That left Tim and Andrew. Andrew was safe, and Tim was the third member of the bottom three.

Katie was the first sent to safety, Tim scraped through again and Didi had to sing for survival. The judges didn’t use the save on Didi, so she’s out of the competition. Sadly for Didi, it seems it pays to trust Ryan when he invites a contestant to bore us with a sob story.